Tuesday, December 28, 2010

A little insight into me


 The truth is I'm not completely sure that I know HOW to have a successful relationship.  I've never seen one up close, and I've never been in a healthy one.  The long standing ones in my family have been with people I didn't grow up around, so I didn't get to witness them.  

You know those lifetime movies where the single independent woman finally gives in and gives a shot to a seemingly great guy, only for them to turn around and turn into an abuser or asshole of some sort? Yeah... that would be my dating life.  Thats why I feel the need to abstain from dating for a year and figure out who I am.  I'm not going to promise that I'll be single for ONLY a year, but its the minimum.  It looks like I do nothing but date back to back, but I've abstained from dating for year stretches before and did rather well.  For those doubting me; I've done it before and I will do it again.  It seems to be the only way I can focus on me is if I don't get myself caught up in some guy who will only turn around and abuse or annoy me.  

I'm convinced that I'm meant to be a single mother when I have kids. I'm totally ok with that.  I will make a great mom b/c I just can never turn the "mommy" off...lol, I just have no tolerance for grown men who act like 3 year old boys.  I want kids more than anything, I just don't want to have to deal with the baby daddy drama.  Well I'll spend the next year getting healthier again, and when I feel its time we'll see if I can make a friend who just wants a kid and not a relationship.  Sounds good to me! lol

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