I wish.. (this is kinda poignant)

I wish people would be nicer to each other.  There's so much hate in the world. 

I wish I could rewind to 10 years old and tell myself to stop binging, before I was actually fat.

I wish my siblings had some kind of clue how much I love them.  Just because I'm not standing in front of them doesn't mean I don't think of them every single second.  

I wish the same of the rest of my family. Even the ones who seem to have issues with me.  

I wish people understood that I know a thing or two about raising kids even though I haven't given birth.  Who do you think Zac has spent most of his time with?  You might take my advice seriously...lol, he's 12 1/2 and quite an awesome kid. I credit myself for that as much as I do my mother.  

I wish my guy friends would realize that my chosen year of singledom also includes celibacy.  You STILL have to date me and put a ring on it to get this...lol, and since I'm gonna be single all year... you are not going to have that opportunity until 2012 :).  Stop asking.  All of you.  

I wish people would stop being all freaked out about the end of the world.  You'll either survive or you won't, but guess what? If you don't, you won't be alive to care.  Relax, live your life.  I highly doubt its coming to an end.  They thought that in 2000 too remember? Still kickin...

I wish my Aunt Shelley would get the stick out of her butt.  I wish that how much I love her counted for more than my choice of religion.  Unfortunately its a battle I will never get anywhere on, but it won't stop me from trying.  

I wish my mom's sisters didnt' sound so disappointed when I answered the phone when they call.  Not sure what I did to them, but telling me and working past it is a lot more mature than just treating me like I don't exist.  It feels like shit for the record, b/c I love them. One particularly almost like another mom. So thanks. 

I wish I had someone to work out with.  Its really lonely to do it by myself. 

I wish I wasn't so mean to myself.  I say things about me that my worst enemies probably never even thought to say. 

I wish I could win some substantial sum of money. I don't need a giant jackpot to get my life started, but a cool 10-20grand would do me just fine.  I don't need to never work again, I just need a few things to get me started in the right direction. 

I wish I could find some friends around here. Jonesboro people are a miserable bunch.  

I wish for my cats to know that they're the closest thing to acceptance I feel in my life.  They love me just because I love them. They don't need a reason.  Besides my mother, they're the only ones who love me unconditionally.  

I wish people around me understood that fact.  Its kinda sad that my cats are the only unconditional love that I feel.  Maybe those who call themselves close to me should think about that.  

I wish people would stop treating me like I'm made of glass. Really stupid glass at that.  I'm a lot stronger than you give me credit for, and probably stronger than those who treat me that way.  I'm also a lot smarter than I let on. I just choose not to share it with those who don't deserve it.  

I wish I knew what was out there. I'm having a hard time believing in a higher power right now.  I know its asking a lot to see some kind of tiny personal miracle for proof, but I need something good in my own life.  How much can one person take? I just need a tiny small personal miracle.  Seeing other people get miracles just solidifies my feeling of being a joke to whomever is out there.  

I wish for my really good friend to finally find his place in the world.  He's been homeless most of the last 4 years minus the several months he stayed with me until me moved back to Maryland.  He's stronger than he knows.  I promise if I ever get my miracle, I'll pass it on and he will no longer struggle.