Wow... almost a year since I blogged on here.

Well allow me to update then. I've been on a rollercoaster of a year in 09, but its over. I dated a few ppl, but one that left the hardest impression was Chaz. He tried to kill me. Not just physically, but he enjoys crushing spirits. I feel really scared for his new girlfriend, also named Jaemy. Thats creepy all on its own. She has almost my name and she has Sarah's zodiac sign. He's trying to replace both of us now with this girl. I feel sorry for her, she has no idea what she's in for. He's a waste of time and possibly a death hazard. I have a new man now, Derek. He's amazing. I don't know whats going to happen, but I am looking forward to finding out. He spent the holidays with me, both Yule and New Year's Eve. He might be "it", but then again I've been wrong so many times before its hard to trust it. I hope he is, I'm honestly sick to death of looking. I am ready to settle down, get married, and start my own family. Caring for Caegan all those months really has my mommy genes in overdrive, I miss that little booger. Damn Chaz for allowing me to get so close to him. I hope he ends up alone and miserable. He doesn't deserve anyone until he learns to truly love. He doesn't know HOW to love anyone besides himself. He'll say he loves a person, but to him its about controlling them. He knows if he tells a girl that he loves her then he has her under his control at least until she realizes what a douche bag he is. Good luck Ms. La Belle.